Sunday, December 27, 2009

Goldfish and the Aquarium

And just like that, Hanukkah and Christmas have come and gone. I'm ready for hibernation.

We spent Christmas with Brian's family at Isle of Palms. We had a wonderful time. Exhausting, but wonderful.

Why exhausting? Take travel, for instance. The boys are contained in carseats, so you'd think it'd be somewhat peaceful. Oh, no no. We're talking 6 hours of Barney/Wiggles/Elmo DVDs (with no way to mute the sound in the front seat), tantrums about who was eating whose shies (fries), dropped sippy cups and baggies of goldfish crackers, and leaky diapers. Oh and then there was the incident this afternoon with Zach's nose---

As we neared the end of our car journey, Zach kept saying "nose hurts! nose hurts!" I kissed his nose. (Which usually works, even on the boys' shoes which, for some reason, get injured often). Didn't help. Then he says "Goldfish nose! Goldfish nose!"

Oh dear God. So I stuck my pinky up his nose. Indeed, he had stuck a goldfish up his right nostril.

So (at home) Brian and I pinned him down and shined a flashlight up his nose and saw the offending cracker. Tweezers didn't work, so we shot some saline up his nose (that's what they used to put in Coop's trach when he was gunky... same difference, right?) That made the goldfish soggy and gross, and we noticed as the day went on bits of orange coming out of his nose. Success. Yeah, we're kind of doctors around here.

Anyway, while we were at the beach, we took the boys to the South Carolina Aquarium in Charleston. An amazing place -- it had penguins (!!) and sea turtles and sea horses and a dive tank and a touch pool... I could have stayed for hours. Did any of this interest Zach, Charlie or Cooper? Not really. Here's what they liked best at the aquarium:

The concrete steps. The steps were more fascinating to them than the ginormous fish swimming in the walls and the penguins diving. Next time we are going the concrete step museum. I hear it's cheaper.

Actually, they enjoyed one other thing about the museum. The fake boat:

Are you exhausted yet just watching? I am. Off to bed.

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!! :)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Charlie Skywalker

This afternoon at the park, the boys climbed onto this red metal thing that is supposed to be a firetruck. Zach and Cooper were driving and Charlie was in the back. I noticed 2 little boys (one was 6 and the other was 8) watching the boys, then discussing something, apparently of a very serious nature:

  • 8-year-old: "....The two in front are babies. But not the one in the back.... I think he likes Star Wars."
  • 6-year-old (brandishing a bedazzled sword thing): "Lemmee go see."

The 6-year-old runs over, puts a leg up on the firetruck, and tries to solicit Charlie to join his starfleet:
  • "Whacher name?"
  • SILENCE. Charlie looks at the big kid like he has 5 eyes. Silence.
  • "Whacher name?"

I jump in: "His name's Charlie. He's just a little guy. Nice bedazzled sword."

The kid is undeterred. To Charlie: "You like Star Wars? Wanna play Star Wars??"

Charlie just continued to stare. I could tell he was really wishing Zach and Cooper would drive faster.

Me: "Charlie's just 2. He doesn't know Star Wars yet. He likes Barney. Want to play Barney?"

The kid ran back to his buddy.

A few minutes later I hear laughter and then "Barney EATS babies." The swordsman and his buddy couldn't get over how funny they were.

My boys didn't even notice. They were too busy driving.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Rat

One of the boys' Hanukkah presents was a huge cardboard house that comes with crayons and markers for decorating. Someone forgot to give them the memo that just because they can decorate their own house doesn't mean they can decorate mine. I'm still not sure who was the guilty party, but my money's on Charlie (and so's Zach's)...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Lake Poodah is Rising

Lake Poodah update:
It rained for almost 24-hours straight today and yesterday. The waters of Lake Poodah rose substantially. A little flood never deterred Magellan and his magic bike, though...


While unloading the dishwasher today, I heard Larry, Moe and Curly chanting: "Stinky mommy cha cha cha! Stinky mommy cha cha cha! Stinky mommy cha cha cha." Then laughter. Not funny, I tell them. Mommy is not stinky.
A few minutes later they're at it again: "Stinky Raizel cha cha cha! Stinky Raizel cha cha cha!" Raizel?? OMG they know I have a name. That's both funny and really, really wierd.
Finally, an apology:
Dear grouchy cashier at the Teeter this morning:
You probably remember me. I was pushing the cart stuffed with children in ginormous yellow parkas. As you were ringing up my deli meat (while muttering "better you than me"), I invaded your cashier space and went behind you to push the cart to the end of the lane. I underestimated the space (and frankly, your rear), and my children's heads came frighteningly close to your bottom. My apologies -- I promise, Zach didn't mean to hit your butt.
Happy holidays! Raizel

Sunday, December 6, 2009

This is Lake Poodah. Located just 10 feet outside of our carport, and at a depth of the height of a pair of Stride-Rite sneakers, Lake Poodah is more exciting to the boys than any toy in their playroom. Lake Poodah appeared about a month ago, and, like that funky smell in my van, it will not go away. Sure, it might look pretty (who doesn't like a big fat mudhole) but it's really NOT when your children are wearing it, and you're supposed to be somewhere in 10 minutes. (See below.)

As you've probably guessed, our lake was named for Cooper, who can't keep himself out the mudhole. Nor can he keep himself out of trouble lately. Zach has been to time out only once or twice ever. Charlie, a few times more than that. Cooper is in time out at least two or three times a day.

Here's the problem. Cooper freaking LOVES timeout. I don't know where I went wrong. He does things like running out of the bathroom at full speed with a fist full of toilet paper (one end of which is still attached to the roll of course), stops and looks me straight in the eye and says "Bimeout! Bimeout!" Then we put him in his timeout chair (in an empty bedroom downstairs). He sits there and sings and talks to himself (apparently telling himself hilarious jokes). Happy as a clam.

Which brings me to Cooper's behavior this weekend.

It occurred to me yesterday that I hadn't seen Cooper in a little while. Neither had Brian. He wasn't upstairs, and he wasn't downstairs playing with Zach and Charlie. Where was he? Then we noticed the door to the timeout room was closed. We opened the door and out ran Cooper, looking like a little chipmunk. Literally. His cheeks were full of -- no surely it's not--- CAT FOOD. So much dang cat food that when he smiled at us, little triangular morsels would fall out. So proud of himself.

Bimeout! Bimeout!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


I had to post this one. My stomach still hurts from laughing when I was recording it. And yes, that is what my house looks like by 6 p.m. everyday.
And if you are wondering where the other monkeys were while Zach was grooving, watch again... See the lights going on and off in the hallway and little voices talking about the lights??
What a crazy life.