Sunday, March 29, 2009

Apology letters, vol. 1

Dear nice gentleman at the birthday party we went to last weekend,

If you are wondering where that nice pile of mac and cheese on your dinner plate went, I am sorry to tell you that while you weren't looking, my son Charlie took a few handfuls. I would have stopped him, but I didn't notice until I saw him eating the evidence. Don't worry, his hands were clean.

Regards, Raizel


Dear kid at the park on the rocking motorcycle who was freaked out by my son who was standing 2 inches from you and staring,

I wish you wouldn't have run away so quickly. We were all impressed by your rocking motorcycle skills. Charlie just wanted to be your friend. I guess he missed the memo on personal space.

Hope to see you next week! Raizel

Dear everyone in the waiting room of the doctor's office last week checking their kids' diapers for poop,

Yes, it was my kid's diaper. Even though I pretended it wasn't.

Toodles, Raizel

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Triplet Haiku #1

Bath full of bubbles.
Zach suddenly looks guilty.
Big poop in the tub.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Crayon Experiment

So yesterday, our case manager came by for her monthly visit with the boys. (One of the perks of having micro-preemies is enrollment in the state early-intervention program, which provides them with developmental services (like PT, OT, speech) so that by the adjusted age of 2 or so, they are nearly caught up developmentally with their peers). In addition to parking a county car in our driveway on a regular basis (which, I am sure has our neighbors wondering just what is going on at the Kahn house), our case manager keeps tabs on the boys’ development.

Part of our conversation:
  • Case Manager: So, are the boys coloring?
  • What I said: Umm… you mean with crayons?
  • What I was thinking: Yes, they color their teeth with crayons, because they think crayons are food.
  • Case Manager: Well, you should be working with them on scribbling, and then on drawing straight lines.
  • What I said: Okie dokie. That sounds great. We will color our hearts out. I’ll mail you their drawings for your refrigerator.
  • What I was thinking: Zach + Charlie + Cooper, armed with crayons... eating crayons… grinding crayons into the carpet… putting them in the dishwasher… hiding them between the couch cushions… drawing on the walls… Shouldn’t we work on cartwheels first? Am I the only parent of 17-month-olds who think crayons might require one-on-one supervision, and that one-on-three supervision just might not cut it?

And so… the crayon lessons began.

Day One, 7:30 a.m. I lay several sheets of paper on the boys’ table. I show the boys the paper. We like to eat paper, think the boys. I give Cooper a green crayon and show him how to color. Charlie starts to whine because he doesn’t have a crayon. I give Charlie a crayon and show him how to color. I give Zach a crayon, and notice that Charlie is trying to steal Cooper’s crayon, but to Charlie’s dismay, Cooper has eaten most of his crayon. Lesson ends abruptly, and there are 3 tantrums and some really green teeth. Total time of actual scribbling on paper: 2 seconds. Total time of actual scribbling on my table: 15 seconds.

Day Two, 7:30 a.m. The paper is ready. I arm each boy with a crayon. Charlie gets really mad because he needs two crayons. So he gets another crayon, but that is simply not enough for Charlie because he REALLY needs Zach’s crayon (guess it looked tastier than his own). He bullies Zach into giving up his crayon. Zach is crying, and Charlie’s lesson ends (with a tantrum of course). Zach is coloring the table. I look at Cooper, who is looking right at me with a crayon hanging out of his mouth. And he smiles because he knows exactly what he is doing. He removes the crayon, and then puts it right back in his mouth. Lesson ends before any more crayons are harmed. Total time of actually scribbling on paper: 10 seconds. Total time of actual scribbling on my table: 45 seconds. Total number of sheets of paper eaten by Zach: one. YES. This is progress.

Day Three, 7:30 a.m. I ask the boys if they want to color, and they run over to the table and point at the crayon basket on the desk. They each get two crayons. Although Charlie appears miffed that his brothers have the same number of crayons as he does, he composes himself and scribbles some scribble on the table. Cooper scribbles and Zach scribbles. Total time of blissful scribbling before crayons go into mouths: 1 minute. SUCCESS!

I can now check “scribbling” off of my developmental checklist.

We’ll work on straight lines and playing Boggle next week.