Hello everyone! Contrary to popular belief, I actually have not fallen off the face of the earth. Here’s what I’ve been busy doing (and the reason I have not been blogging):
1. Asking the boys if they have to go potty. Every 5 minutes.
2. Forcing boys who “do not” have to go potty to go potty, only to realize the reason they don’t have to go potty is because they already have. In their pants. Which they claim, are nice and dry. (In all fairness to the boys, though, we went an entire day today with ZERO accidents! Progress!!)
3. Trying to remember why we thought it was a good idea to move the boys into big-boy beds. (See #'s 4-11 below).
4. Explaining to Cooper that stuffed toys do not need lotion, no matter how dry their fur feels. (This explanation was necessary upon discovering, at 6:30 a.m., that Cooper emptied an entire bottle of Cetaphil onto his bed, the floor, and his stuffed moose.)
5. Upon realizing the danger that one bottle of lotion posed, clearing the boys’ bedroom of all items not nailed to the wall. Such as furniture and rugs. (Except, regretfully, their dresser. See # 12)
6. Cursing the fact that human feces are not of that category. See #7.
7. Figuring out the best way to clean Zach poop off the walls. And the blinds. And the floor. And the bed. (We’ve had 6 episodes now of poop painting). I wish I were kidding
8. Determining that duct tape, not time out, is the best way to keep Zach from painting himself and the walls with poop.
9. Convincing Zach that the silver belt we make him wear every night is magic.
10. Creating matching silver belts for everyone, every night. And removing them in the mornings.
|The boys sleep with a gate in their doorway. The clothes were thrown over the gate. When I found the mess, I closed the door, and counted to 10. And got the camera.|
13. Helping the boys choose career paths. The other day Charlie told Brian he wanted to be a knee doctor. Cooper said he wanted to be "the letter O.”
14. Trying to convince myself that I am a better (and smarter) person for watching every episode of all of the Real Housewives seasons.
15. Ignoring the looks from people watching Charlie belt out “Dancing Queen” in the frozen section of the Teeter.
16. Watching Cooper and Zach perfect their dance moves.
17. Watching my boys – who are best buddies – imaginary play every day. I love eating their dirt macaroni and accepting rocks in payment for juice boxes. I love watching them drive:
|"You gotta be kidding me Zach. Roll down a window!"|
19. More importantly, wondering if this development means I will have to start pretending I like sports.
20. Worrying that the volume of Cheetos I’ve been eating will have an adverse affect on Baby 4. If he looks like an oompaloompa, I guess we have our answer.